My balls are so social today.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
