she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
