Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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