Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just high enough for therapy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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