If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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