They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
