One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
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I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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