He is an equal opportunity slut.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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