just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
