It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
