i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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