we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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