then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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