I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
