let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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