god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
