no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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