Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
