2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
