I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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