You just made me feel so damn special
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
