Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Two words: blizzard sex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
