HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
