And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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