All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize