I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
