Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
