oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
