How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
