please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
