She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
