Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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