I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
