ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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