like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
time to smoke my breakfast
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
