haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
