i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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