I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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