Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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