Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
