i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
