I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
