mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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