you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
