There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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