No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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