it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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