in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize