So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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