New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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