Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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