his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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