haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize