I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
