Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
