I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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