I'm eating all of the evidence.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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