I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
