his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
