Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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